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  I couldn’t say he was wrong. The girl was hot but paled in comparison to Evyn. It was game over as soon as Bailey introduced the new girl to me.

  Before she came along, I would have taken the girl at the bar up on the offer she was obviously throwing my way, but I couldn’t anymore. My dick wouldn’t let me. It only woke up for a dark-haired, blue-green-eyed beauty with curves in the best places.

  “Wow,” Ross said in awe when it became apparent, I wouldn’t answer him. “Never thought I would see the day you would be pussy whipped, and she’s not even putting out.”

  What the fuck?

  I had Ross up on the tips of his toes with my fists gripping his shirt the next instant. “Do not talk about Evyn that way.”

  “Whoa, man!” He awkwardly patted my shoulders. “I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear. It was a shit thing to say, and I’m sorry. My bad, bro.”

  I released him quickly, taking a quick step backward as he gained his balance. I was going fucking nuts. I was at work, for fuck’s sake. What was I fucking doing? I’d been about to lay Ross out behind the bar with customers all around. The killer was I would have probably said the same damn thing to him not too long ago.

  If I weren’t careful, my boss would fire my ass for acting like an asshole. “Sorry,” I mumbled as I went to clock out for the day.

  I had all I could take for the day and needed to get out and breathe. I shouldn’t have let Ross’ words get to me, but they had pissed me off. Of course, I wanted to have sex with her, but it was more than that.

  All I wanted to do was jump in my car, go to Evyn’s place, and make her talk to me. Wanting to relieve some of the sadness in her eyes and take on her worries had me acting like a madman. I was literally driving myself nuts, trying to formulate a solid plan of getting closer to her. Sure, she was at work almost every day, but that wasn’t what I meant. My goal was to burrow myself so deep with Evyn, she couldn’t get rid of me.

  I dreamed about stripping her of her clothes and mapping out her curves. I fantasized about thrusting deep into her tight, wet heat, sucking her nipples into my mouth, and listening to her scream my name.

  Scrubbing my hands roughly down my face, I climbed into my car. Maybe a ride would do me some good. Hell, a race would be even better, and it would allow me to let this frustration I had built up loose.

  I liked to control the stuff around me, and Evyn made that impossible to do. No, a fucking race was a bad idea tonight. I was not in the right headspace to drive my car at one hundred twenty miles an hour down a track.

  After a few hours of mindless driving, I ended up at the field out in Gheens we’d hung out in when a bar wasn’t where we wanted to be. I met a lot of people from different places, so I was sure there would be somebody I knew there.

  Taking a glance around, I recognized some faces. Not too many people were out, but it was still early. It was a chill spot where no one bothered anyone else. I think it started out as a place where underage kids could go to drink and get wild without watching eyes. People brought tents and chairs, and basically camped out.

  There wasn’t anyone in charge, but it was an understood rule, no drinking and driving, and I loved that. I’d seen way too many drunk driving accidents to appreciate these people looking out for each other.

  “What’s up, man?” Carter called, holding his hand out.

  Slapping his palm, I answered, “Riding around. Figured I’d stop to see if anything was happening.”

  “A few people came out,” Carter replied, scanning the area. “It’s chill tonight.”

  “Looking for someone, bro?” I questioned.

  I had a feeling he was searching for a chick, a particular girl, one who turned him even broodier than usual, and that was saying something. The man was intense and serious on a daily basis, but ever since she showed up, he’d gotten worse.

  Carter was a good dude, though. He and Bailey were best friends and used to live together before Bailey and Ryker moved in together. Like me, Carter and Bailey had been in foster care, but unlike me, their experience wasn’t so good. They went through some shit and stuck together.

  A while back, this mystery girl came into the bar, and Bailey flipped out. I didn’t know who she was, but she was part of their history. No one had celebrated the reunion, but there was more to Carter’s reaction than Bailey’s.

  Bailey was straight-up pissed while Carter tried to mask the pain with a fierce, unreadable expression, but he didn’t fool me. I grew up in the same environment as them. I learned the same survival techniques as they did. I knew a mask when I saw one, and it covered Carter from head to toe.

  “No,” Carter said after a slight hesitation.

  The bartender in me wanted to push him to talk to me, but I was there to chill and forget everything else. Standing silently beside him, that was exactly what I went about doing, staring off at the growing crowd, thinking about where Evyn was at that moment.

  Cursing myself, I wondered when I’d become such a fucking pussy. I’d lived through so many hard knocks in life, and one dark-haired, curvy woman had all that disappearing, and my hard shell cracked.

  Soon after Carter found me, more people began pulling up to the big field, and it turned into a party. Just what I was looking for, a distraction. People watching could be very entertaining and enlightening since they tended to let their masks slip when they thought no one was looking.

  I noticed some of the Landrys standing over to the side in a small huddle. From the frequent visits to the bar, I recognized each of them. Ryder stood tall with his arms crossed over his chest, feet spread apart, his eyes trained on a beautiful brunette. Laughing and shaking my head, I knew he was going to have trouble with that one, without a shadow of a doubt.

  Ryden took a deep pull off the beer in his hand. It seemed like he was headed for a certain type of night, and I idly wondered what was up with that. It was probably a girl. Before Evyn, that may not have been, but I knew better now. It was always about a woman.

  Logan was off to the side, staring into space as though his mind was a million miles away. I didn’t know where he fit into that family, but he wasn’t a Landry by blood. He was always with them, and there was a familiarity between them that spoke of family, though.

  Carter had moved over by the parking area, talking to some of his crew, street bikes lined up behind them. He ran with some guys and took some races out in Baton Rouge. Officially, I’d met Carter through Bailey, but I had known of him before that since I was in the racing circuit myself.

  I didn’t know how long I stood there watching the people interacting around me, but it was time to go. I came out here to stop myself from obsessing over Evyn, but I was bored and still thinking about her.

  Making my way through the growing crowd, I acknowledged a few people I knew with handshakes and fist bumps while ignoring the flirty looks and grasping hands of the single ladies looking to mingle. I did not have the time nor the inclination to deal with any of the women searching for a hook-up.

  “Hey, Jaxson,” the blonde from the bar said, sidling up to my side. “You leaving?”

  “Yeah,” I answered shortly, not slowing my steps.

  “Want some company?” She glanced up at me from beneath her lashes with a flirty, hungry expression on her face.

  “Not interested,” I responded, finally making it to my car.

  Saying I wasn’t interested was a massive understatement. Not bothering to look back or listen to anything else she had to say, I left her behind and headed home. It appeared it would be a cold shower kind of ending to this brilliant night.

  Chapter Three

  Evyn

  Sighing with aggravation, I hit decline on my phone a-fucking-gain. Why couldn’t the dumbass get the damn hint that I wanted no communication with him and to just leave me the heck alone? When would he understand he was not in my life and would never
be?

  Never!

  That was the answer. The guy was psycho, and no matter what I did or where I went, he would be there. There was no doubt about it. It was like the words I said to him did not penetrate his brain, and he refused to hear my rejections.

  I didn’t even know the number of times I changed my number, moved to a different place, or changed jobs. In fact, I stayed in Houma working at Left Turners longer than anywhere else, but I wanted some stability and a place to call home. Was that too much to ask? To hope for? I didn’t think so, but maybe I was wrong. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to have something permanent.

  “Hi, how’s it going?” I greeted for like the thousandth time tonight.

  Working on auto-pilot, I was helpless to change it. I didn’t want to be here tonight, but I would be a shitty person if I didn’t go to the going away party for the closest thing I had to a friend. Bailey Scott worked her last shift before Left Turners closed for the night, and the party started.

  She was close to eight months pregnant and advised to take it easy until it was time for the baby to come into this world. And she was doing just that, and Ryker was making sure she was taken care of.

  A twinge of jealousy hit me, making my stride wobble. I had accepted my new reality a long time ago. Having a man by my side was not in the cards for me, and I had to be okay with that. I was okay with that. I just felt sorry for myself and needed to snap out of it.

  “You okay?” a deep voice asked while a warm hand cupped my elbow to steady me.

  Shaking my head to clear out all the unnecessary thoughts, I peered up into eyes the color of the ocean, which were locked on me. I wanted to sink into that gaze. Jaxson was not the man or personality he showed the world. No, he was a seriously intense man who looked too deeply, who saw too much, and who pushed for more. At least, that was the way he was with me.

  When I first met him, he flirted with me shamelessly, using the cheesiest, mostly inappropriate, and highly sexual pick-up lines. He had made me laugh for the first time in years, and I wanted to wrap that laughter around me and keep my body sealed within it.

  Unfortunately, life did not do what you wanted it to. I had to learn that lesson before I was strong enough to accept it. With time and experience on my side, I was done running, done hiding, done begging for someone to do something.

  It was my turn now.

  Now was not the fucking time to rehash the past. Jaxson was staring at me expectantly, and I was sure other people would notice the standoff soon. It was Bailey’s night, and I just needed to get through it before I decided what to do. Simple, right?

  Wrong. Jaxson was a hard man to play. I had no doubt he would see through the façade I was trying to pull off, but there was nothing to be done about that. I wouldn’t bring him into my shit.

  “Yep,” I said, cringing when I popped the p at the end.

  I needed to bring it down a notch, or my cover would be blown. Jaxson already saw more than I ever wanted him to. I couldn’t let him know what was going on. He would try to fix it, and there was no fixing it unless murder was an option.

  Just to be clear, murder was not an option. If the asshole died, my life would be better, but killing someone was not the answer. I’d wished for him to die a thousand deaths. He could wreck his expensive sports car that he loved so damn much and burn alive in it. He could get a terminal illness and not live for more than a few months.

  There were several ideas for how he would no longer walk this Earth that I’d thought about over the last few years. What sucked the most about the whole situation was the way my mom defended the creep. She was the first person I went to when it all started, and she actually got offended that I would suggest such a thing. She said I only wanted to take her happiness away.

  Jaxson raised one eyebrow as if to say he was calling me on my bullshit, and I couldn’t blame him. I was full of shit. Maybe it was time to move again like I’d considered earlier, but that depressed me. Then again, I knew better than to get too close to people.

  I turned on my heel and escaped his invasive gaze. I never put a shield on my eyes. I didn’t find the need to cover the turmoil my life had become, not that I could since I sucked at lying. Instead, I slapped a happy smile on my face and tried to get through the day. Fake it until you make it and all that shit.

  Walking around the room, I didn’t talk to anyone, simply strolled casually around the many groups of people. The faces were all familiar, and I made it a point to study everyone around me. I paused briefly on a new face until Rylan, Ryker’s brother, slid his arm around the red-head’s waist.

  It appears as though another Landry has fallen, I thought with another twinge of jealousy. This was getting ridiculous. I looked up at the exit sign and decided to use it. I needed air and space.

  It was dark behind the building, the only illumination being a street light in the furthest corner to the right and the full moon high in the sky. The muted sounds of the party in full swing were a small reassurance that I wasn’t all alone because other than that, it was quiet.

  The problem was I wanted to be alone, and yet, I didn’t. I was tired of running, of looking over my shoulder and wondering when he would catch up to me. I was always on guard, never knowing when I would need to put my new skills to the test.

  Once I found Heavy Bags, I had been working toward the confrontation I knew would come sooner or later. I was stronger mentally and physically than I was five years ago when I didn’t think I had to prepare for the evil my mother brought into our lives.

  Now, I knew better. Now, I knew how dangerously bad people could be. Now, I knew attacks could happen when you least expected it. Now, I knew I had to be fit and ready to protect myself at all times.

  With a sigh, I wished, not for the first time, that my life had gone in a different direction. It didn’t matter. This was the road I had chosen to travel, and all I could do was keep putting one foot in front of the other and continue moving forward.

  Maybe, one day, things would be different. Maybe I wouldn’t have to move from city to city without making permanent connections. Maybe, one day, I could meet someone to share my days with without feeling guilty for pulling them into my world.

  None of these thoughts mattered, and it was a waste of time to even continue with this train of thought.

  The last seven months made me yearn to set down roots and grow in this place with these people. Hearing the laughter through the building at my back, I felt a sense of loss while I was still here.

  These people made me feel at home for the first time in probably forever. Bailey took me under her wing and taught me how to be the best waitress I could be, but more than that, she taught me how to be strong enough to accept my reality.

  I never shared my story with her, but she knew it was painful. My eyes said everything she needed to know, and I was okay with that. She came from a painful start in life, and she pulled herself up and made a place of her own in this world.

  Jaxson became a great friend, a person I could clown around with and laugh freely with. He made the yearning for more so much sharper than anything ever had. I could see myself falling into him and not letting go, but that would be selfish.

  He deserved some perky co-ed who didn’t have baggage that could hurt him. He should date a girl who gave him everything I couldn’t, everything a normal, twenty-one-year-old girl had. He should go to parties where his biggest concern was if he should drink beer out of the keg or a bottle. He should go to bars and clubs and enjoy all the beautiful women he could handle.

  That thought sent a pang through my chest. I’d seen girls throw themselves at him while he was working the bar, and he knew exactly what he was doing, mixing their drinks with flirty smiles and sexy winks.

  And that was enough of that. Jealously was not pretty on anyone, and I definitely didn’t need to go there with everything else I had to deal with. I wished I c
ould simply shut my brain down. It sure would make life easier not having every damn thought that passed through my head make me want to stab something.

  The sound of the door opening had my head snapping in that direction. Without much light, I couldn’t see the person who walked outside clearly, but I would know that body anywhere. I’d studied that muscular build for far longer than I would ever admit out loud.

  Jaxson had starred in many of my sexual fantasies, and I wanted them to become a reality. It wasn’t like I turned him down, but I didn’t go after him, either. I couldn’t. Something held me back, and I blamed the fucker who wouldn’t leave me alone.

  He had broken something in me, and I still struggled to fix it. Doubts and insecurities crowded my mind until I could do nothing about my attraction to Jaxson.

  “Hey,” he said, walking closer to where I stood.

  I shivered as his voice washed over me. It was deep and husky with the slight Southern accent I was in love with. I could hear that voice whispering dirty things in my ear all night long, and it was getting more difficult to appear unaffected by Jaxson with each encounter.

  “Hey,” I said in an embarrassingly breathy tone.

  I looked away from the sexy, knowing smirk he had on his handsome face. I wished I were the type of girl who could walk up to him and take his lips the way I wanted to, but I wasn’t. I always hoped he would make a move, but he never did.

  Instead, we’d developed this funny, natural relationship where we teased each other relentlessly. The banter that flowed between us was entertaining and felt good. Not having something to smile about in a long damn time, I clung to this weird, sexual tension infused friendship with Jaxson.

  I should have been thankful to even have that, but I wanted more. I wanted to get naked with the sexy bartender and do things I’d never done, to experience something I hadn’t before. I leaned my head back against the building and closed my eyes, inhaling a harsh breath filled with frustration.

  It was time to move on. I didn’t want to pull Jaxson into my messed-up life, but I wanted him with a deep-seated desire. The thing was, I wished I could do what I wanted to do with who I wanted to do it with, but I held back because of a damn nutjob who may or may not find me one day.